Now, Boss Lady and I are discussing redoing our kitchen.

During the total gut renovation of our apartment a few years ago, we ran out of money before we got to the kitchen.

Yet, somehow, I have it in my head that I can singlehandledly do it by myself with some help from my friends at Ikea.

kalendarzyk owulacyjny online dating-71kalendarzyk owulacyjny online dating-25kalendarzyk owulacyjny online dating-76

Owing to my parents' immigrant status, the holidays weren't a big deal in our home.

Usually, on Christmas, I'd either get a $20 bill or a new book. However, watching people go nuts to buy stuff during the holidays always amazed us!

Who would sleep in the parking lot of Wal-Mart the day after Thanksgiving so they could get their hands on a TOY? Anyway, by now, most of you have heard about the hysteria surrounding the release of TMX Elmo. If we sell them for $150 each, we'll make a profit of $1,320. OF SANDWICH My mother-in-law is visiting us this week so I've been sleeping on the couch in the living room. Besides, I tend to stay up late so it works out just fine.

The latest version of the Tickle-Me Elmo doll is retailing for about $39.99. That should be just enough money for us to check into the Ritz-Carlton, order in room service, and tickle each other extremely for a few days! The weird thing is that when I sleep on the couch, I can see into my neighbors' apartments across the street.

However, due to limited supply, sellers on E-Bay are already listing the toy for $150. The other night, as I was reading, I noticed someone making a sandwich at am. I'm a big fan of the late-night hoagie and I have enormous respect for my fellow stoner chefs.

But then, I started thinking about what kind of sandwich the guy was making. What if it was black trumpet mushrooms with white truffle fondue on a ciabatta roll? If you want to know where to get the best Moroccan food in NYC, need someone to give a speech at a wedding, or are curious about what kind of wine goes best with pizza, I am definitely your man.Or worse, what if he was making a sandwich with goat cheese? Then, of course, my opinion of the neighbor would be COMPLETELY different. However, when it comes to household chores, I am generally useless.I was literally so preoccupied with all this that I was just about to rummage through the closet to find our binoculars when I decided I should probably just go to bed..not until after making a sandwich. Last week, I actually paid someone to come over and change the lightbulbs in our den because the last time I tried to do this, I ended up ripping the fixtures out of the ceiling. The whole concept of a "must-have" gift is so foreign to me. WHEN ELMO AND OPPORTUNITY KNOCK I wasn't a parent when previous fads such as Cabbage Patch Kids, Beanie Babies, or Power Rangers became the must-have gift of the holiday season. I don't know whether he looked more like a gay Musketeer or the illegitimate love child of Friar Tuck and Falstaff. So can someone please explain to me why I completely freak out when she gets within 10 feet of an unpeeled grape?